Potatoes at 2 a.m.

So.

2009-12-04T06:32:11Z

This pretty much sums up my life the last couple of weeks.

Moved into Grandma's house.

Got two dogs.

Life is good. :D

Ugh

2009-10-03T03:40:59Z

MY

TITTIES

HURT

After a year of hellishness, I'm done breast-feeding.
Decided to go relatively cold turkey.
I pumped about 28 hours ago, and decided I can deal with the pain until the morning.
I figure if I keep spacing it further and further apart, it will slowly go away.
It hurts like hell.
My breasts... are like rocks.

I
FUCKING
HURT

Not that anyone wanted to know that I have rock boob. :D

Sean's first birthday!

2009-09-27T15:21:37Z

I find it hard to believe that a year ago today, I was in the hospital squeezing out the love of my life. My baby turns one today! Grandma and Grandpa O'Neal are getting the family together for a celebration - pictures of Cake-Face to come soon, I'm sure! :D

Prospectus

2009-09-13T23:21:20Z

There is most likely a distant move in our future. My grandma passed last week, and left a house in Ohio that needs people to live in it. I volunteered myself, and my parents agreed. I've already submitted an application to Marshall and requested that transcripts be sent to them from UWM and Carmel, I've notified my boss, who notified his boss, that I was interested in transferring, now just to wait...

We won't leave until the transfer goes through, but we probably won't wait much longer after that to go. It's a good move for us. Simply by not having to pay rent, I can afford to go to school full-time. Full-time means better chance at a future, fo'sho. There's a lot of distant family very close by, no shortage of people willing to help. I can send Sean to school in the morning without worrying that one of his classmates might shoot him. We could get a dog (omgdogomg)! There would just be a lot less hassle, and a lot more opportunity.

Crossing fingers. I'm not a patient sort of person. >/

Clothes-a-million!

2009-08-25T00:24:03Z

So I updated my Facebook status to advertising that I'm cleaning out my closet... And OMG you would not believe the response I got! I'm still laughing my ass off about it! Looks like I'm heading to the post office soon!

greenpotato @ 2009-08-04T14:51:00

2009-08-04T22:36:16Z

The more I come to terms with needing help with being able to make ends meet...
...the more I realize that Wisconsin sucks for people like me.

Basically, because I wasn't born on welfare, there's no way for me to get assistance of most any kind.
Awesome.

As if it wasn't bad enough...

2009-07-29T01:47:49Z

For a long while now, I've wondered if I'm not clinically depressed. Years ago, I brushed it off as that I was just an angsty teenager. Now that I'm an adult, I feel I've learned to handle my stresses.

However, from time to time, it seems like I sink into this pit of despair, and just can't seem to crawl out of it. Sometimes it's so bad, I can barely drag myself out of bed in the morning.

In some ways, I blame this depression for how my life has played out. The choices I've made regarding school, work, where I live, how I enter/exit/make/destroy.etc relationships... And in some ways, I blame my life for worsening the depression. Keeping me from healing. Just a big, angry vicious cycle of hurt and lethargy.

Kati got married the weekend before this past one, and I've been feeling very low lately as it is. Now I am running into people I went to school with who have their whole lives figured out, and are happy about it. Not helping. To make matters worse, her younger brother was there, and in talking to him for a while, he said something that really, really, REALLY make me just want to slash my wrists on the spot. I don't think he realized how much it cut into me like a knife, in fact, I'm almost certain he didn't. Still, the fact remains, it was not my proudest moment.

"Weren't you, like, the only one in your guys' graduating class that didn't go to college?"

Dot. Dot. Dot.

What really busts me up is, it's probably true. If it isn't, that means that someone thinks so poorly of me that they would make up such a rumor. Not that it should matter to me what anyone thinks of me but myself, but as you might have figured out... I don't think that highly of myself! If it IS true, all the more reason to feel that way, anyway.

I know those of you who are actually reading this will assure me that it's not true, but right now, I really don't think I could feel more worthless.

To tell you how great things are around here,,,

2009-06-30T03:13:24Z

The store got robbed at gunpoint (again) yesterday, during the day...
...and it didn't even make the evening news.

But don't worry! Plenty of news coverage of the governor's budget plan!

greenpotato @ 2009-06-29T06:28:00

2009-06-29T12:50:07Z

My mom friended me on Facebook.

And the world explodes.

greenpotato @ 2009-05-29T09:35:00

2009-05-29T15:46:53Z

Hell yes.

Whirlwind.

2009-05-27T02:50:37Z

Our heads and hearts are as two companion bumbling idiots from opposite sides of the globe: neither has realized that they do not understand what the other is saying, but they are both content to be as such.

So it's been a busy bunch of lazy days. Saw Jacki for the first time in almost a year at Brittany's baby shower the Saturday before last, which was beautiful. Got to see Lilli, who looks just like a mini-Jacki it's so adorable. Quote Jacki, "I finally got a little red-headed girl... WHO LOVES ME!" She and Sean certainly hit it off, though he made Jacki mad because he tools around crawling (he stands up by himself, too >.>) and she's like "You're 3 months older than him, what the hell! Crawl, lazyass!" Afterward, I dashed home and threw the monster at Jen, and ran off to Steve's for our usual Saturday night game. It was brilliant not having to have him with us for once, surely.

Sunday was Tessa's baptism, so we headed down to that neck of the woods yet again. Ended up staying for quite a while, played some Bags and watched Waiting after playing some Guitar Hero while the little one bounced around in Tessa's bouncy chair.

Wednesday, I got off work and ran to my physical therapy appointment, which have been going great! I'm certainly not cured, but I feel so much better. Last Wednesday, though, my therapist was out (thanks for telling me BEFORE I showed up...) with pneumonia, so I went home after a quick run to the grocery store and took a nap. After I got up, I got talked into going out to Derry's Pub with the boys from work. I got to meet Jason's girlfriend (finally, I've only known him for a year now?), and Brad showed up, too. I told them all I was only getting one drink (I got a beer so it would stretch) and was going to leave when it was finished, since I had to get up at 5 am the next morning for work. They proceeded to take that to mean "as long as I haven't finished this drink, keep pouring me more." Therefore, I spent five dollars on beer. I walked into the house at 4am after seven drinks and breakfast at Webb's to try to sober me up enough to drive home.

I get up 45 minutes after falling asleep, and get ready for work.
I stayed for most of the shift, but couldn't quite make it, and went home. Had to wait until little one took his nap to take one of my own.

Friday, the next day, I went in again... And went home after a few hours because all of a sudden, we were swamped by techs, and I still felt like dying. Ended up going in to the doctor, who stuck a Q-tip in my nose and the back of my throat, and insisted on doing a blood draw. Surprisingly, the bruise is already gone (I bruise for a long time when I'm stabbed). Never heard back on the results, but since I wasn't pregnant, the nausea must be the swine flu! I'm around sick people all day! Hey, forget that I don't have a fever, or diarrhea, or vomiting! You only need to show one symptom for it to be true!

So! He gave me Tamiflu. Guess what. I still feel like I'm sick. Something tells me that wasn't it.

After I got home, I hung with Nick and Jen for about an hour and watched them play a few games of Magic, then went back home and rebuilt a deck to play against them sometime with the oodles of cards I have from years past (though now looking at it, it's nothing compared to the volume those two own...).

Saturday was relatively quiet. Game as usual at Steve's. I was in an extremely manic mood, which irritated me, but despite my best efforts, got the best of me. But I made Jaegerbombs!

Sunday I did... diddly shit that I can recall right now. lawlz.

Monday I got up and decided it was high time I lop my hair off. Tom agreed, but with the stipulation that I cut his, first, before the little one woke up from his nap. I agreed, then got called into work before I'd finished. So I think perhaps on Thursday. I've decided, that as my hair is a good 11 inches below the chin now, and it needs to be 10+ to donate, I'm gonna chop it off and donate it! :D I hate having long hair anyway, but when it got to a certain point, I decided that I would get it to this length first so that I could do some good with it for once. After that I think I'm going to bleach the Rogue stripe back in, since I'm beginning to notice more and more grey in that area. -.- Playing around with the idea of thin black streaks also. After work, Steve decided he was going to take his kids out to the park, so I packed Sean up and took him out to join him. He absolutely loved the swings, and was relatively cool about crawling around in the grass.

Today work started out slow and ended absolutely insane. I got to do practically whatever I wanted all day though, which was brilliant. Mentally... I needed that. Thank god.

Late day tomorrow, had to cancel my pt appointment for the second week in a row because apparently I have to work the night shifts on Wednesday for at least another month because there's no one else to work them. WHY DOES THAT MEAN THAT I HAVE TO DO IT THEN I HATE WEDNESDAY NIGHT SHIFTS I LIKED MY EARLY SHIFT. I told Tim I would tolerate it so long as it was ONLY TEMPORARY.
After that, tentative date at Steve's to watch Evil Dead. pwn.

So I've decided...

2009-05-13T05:03:26Z

I'm going to give up Starbuck's.
This is in order to provide a small amount of extra spending cash.
That spending cash will be funneled into a pile of saved-up money for one thing and one thing only:
Motorcycle riding lessons.

Hell.
Fucking.
Yes.

/zonk

2009-05-11T13:12:42Z

I'm exhausted.

Got home from Tom's family's place around 1:15 this morning, and proceeded to toss and turn until at least 3:30. I don't feel like I slept at all between then and 6:15 when my alarm went off.

Friday night we went down to Acen to meet up with Mike and Stacey, and Todd. Todd ended up having car problems, and Mike talked us into staying the night, so we got a room. This, of course, meant we had to run out for basics, like a change of clothes for the next day, and toothpaste. When we returned, Mike had already passed out, Todd still was stuck at home, and Heidi and Ryon were off to an event inside the con. As we'd not planned on staying, neither Tom nor I had registered for the con, so we never went in.

Saturday morning was colorful, we hung around the lobby level of the Hyatt until the little one decided he could take no more. Then it was home time, and our Demon game at Steve's. We got home from that, again, around 3. More on the Demon campaign later, time for work despite falling asleep sitting up... -.-
edit: Probably for the better we didn't register for the con at all. We overdrew by about $35 simply because of being out for the weekend. Meaning: food. If not for food, we would have been fine. Damn our insatiable stomachs.

... (part 2!)

2009-05-02T03:38:25Z

In health news, Milwaukee has at least 27 suspected cases of Swine Flu.

5 *confirmed* cases walked into our pharmacy today.

I proceeded to douse myself in Purell.

...

2009-05-01T17:05:15Z

Sometimes... I am a super genius.

I have an appointment (finally) to see a physical therapist next Wednesday for this shitty back and neck pain.

Last night, I decided to get trashed at the Bin, and thought it a grand idea to enter the Limbo contest.

I know. Genius.

But hey, I won a super-cool Hawaiian lei and a free shot and a free Jello shot for winning!

Good God, am I ever stiff and sore and crabby this morning...

Writer's Block: Swine Times

2009-04-30T19:37:36Z

Are you worried about catching the swine flu? Do you have a plan for avoiding contagion or dealing with quarantine?

View 501 Answers

In some ways, I am worried that I will end up with this dreaded flu. There have been a few confirmed cases here in Milwaukee, and unfortunately, if it's coming, it's coming to me. I work in a pharmacy in the more impoverished side of the city. Yesterday afternoon, I overheard one of our pharmacists taking in an order over the phone from a doctor for Tamiflu. Fearing the worst, I quickly made a cross with my index fingers and shouted something along the lines of, "screw you guys, I'm getting the hell out of here while I can!" With that, I fled for the door. ((Thankfully, it was the end of my shift, so no one thought too much of it and I'll still have a job on Friday.))

My main concern is not so much that I will get it, as I seem to have a relatively functional immune system. What I do fret about is the fact that I'm more of like... a Typhoid Mary. My husband stays at home with my 7-month-old son while I'm at work. While I am constantly exposed to contagions day in and day out, very rarely do any have an effect on me; however, my husband and son, who are not outside more than once or twice a week, do not have same exposure level. More often than not, if someone at work gets sick, my husband gets sick. He's never even met some of my co-workers, but by God, he's met their strep throat and head colds. Not to mention the fact that there are few drugs out there designed to combat the influenza viruses that are made for children, let alone one as young as mine.

Maybe I'll call in for the next few weeks until this has all blown over?

greenpotato @ 2009-04-01T15:59:00

2009-04-01T22:04:19Z

I'm about ready to just fucking give up.
I finally found someone at a hospital willing to help me find a doctor for this goddamn back problem...
And I call to schedule an appointment...

"I can schedule you in for May 28th."

...

I called an internal medicine doctor's office as a new patient...

WHO THE FUCK "LOOKS" for a NEW DOCTOR and looks TWO MONTHS ahead of time!?

I WOULDN'T HAVE CALLED IF I WASN'T HAVING PROBLEMS -TODAY- DUMB BITCH.

Seriously?

I'm going to just find a doctor that takes my primary insurance and say to hell with trying to run it through the state because I can't fucking wait two goddamn months for this shit! I don't care how much I have to pay anymore, just fucking give me a doctor who will see me and help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

New phone #

2009-03-11T03:26:28Z

I is has new cell phone.
724-553-8496
Don't call me >.>;
I hate phones <.<;

greenpotato @ 2009-03-06T22:37:00

2009-03-07T04:37:53Z

We officially got married this afternoon.

Shush.

I'm happy.

Le yank'd de Manda, juzt 'cuz I seen it before and can't take the temptation any more...

2009-03-05T04:54:19Z

What would your own album look like if you were in a band? Follow the directions below and find out...

Here are the rules:

1 - Go to Wikipedia. Hit “random”
or click http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Random
The first random Wikipedia article you get is the name of your band. = Hubert Winthrop Young

2 - Go to Quotations Page and select "random quotations"
or click http://www.quotationspage.com/random.php3
The last four or five words of the very last quote on the page is the title of your first album. = Want To Draw Something

3 - Go to Flickr and click on “explore the last seven days”
or click http://www.flickr.com/explore/interesting/7days
Third picture, no matter what it is, will be your album cover.

4 - Use Photoshop or similar to put it all together.

5 - Post it to livejournal with this text so your friends can join in!

Also...

2009-02-18T05:25:48Z

Demon Baby video.

Watch.

You'll giggle.

greenpotato @ 2009-02-17T10:11:00

2009-02-17T16:19:38Z

I finally managed to get down to the WiC office on Friday, and as of this morning, am now a proud owner (renter? idk, it's mine for at least another 8 months or so while I still breastfeed) of a shiny new automatic double Medela breastpump. Rawr.

I've been really frustrated with nursing for a while now, and it seems when most people hear that I have a single manual hand pump, they immediately tell me that they're surprised I still do it at all! When he was first born, I was able to produce so much milk that I could nurse all day long but still have at least two full 10-oz bottles sitting in the fridge, if not more that I could freeze for later. We've since depleted the entire freezer stock and it's gotten to the point that I'm lucky to make enough for him to have more than one bottle of breastmilk a day. Yeah. Frustrating. Not to mention that of course, this makes me feel like I'm inadequate as a mother because I can't provide the nourishment that I've always sworn to give my child. Fortunately, he seems to like his formula, and doesn't have any sensitivities or allergies that we've seen yet, but that still doesn't relieve me mentally.

So with any luck this will not only make breastfeeding less time consuming, but more productive again.
I can't wait.

And I can't believe I'm this damned excited over a freaking breast pump.

Things that make me happy:

2009-02-15T21:29:26Z

Best. Valentine's. Ever.

We went out to Walmart for a while last night, and dinner, too!
Meaning, we brought home a bucket of Colonel Chicken and by gods, it was fantastic.

I was pretty happy with my new monitor

so really I wasn't looking to buy a whole lot else just yet until federal comes in.

Then... I found this:

IT DOES EXIST.
I've been looking for something just like this for almost 2 years now. I'd considered buying one before then, but never really had the cash for it, and it was more of a luxury than something I reallyreallyreally need-wanted. When I did decide that I needed it and went looking for it, not only could I not find one, but anyone and everyone that I talked to swore they knew of no such thing. I asked at electronics stores. I asked at game stores. Hell, I even looked online. I found nothing! Then, while goofing off in the clearance aisle in fucking WALMART, I FOUND IT. Eat that, naysayers!

I could not be more pleased. Well, no, I would be more pleased if the board I had ordered for my PS2 was the right one and my PS2 was working so that I could actually USE this, but, oh well. So now I really need to fix my PS2 up again because I CAN USE IT! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Yep. I've lost it. So sue me.

$500 later...

2009-02-14T20:38:08Z

Part one of Tax Return 2009 has me rather cheery. Tom's been working on building himself a new computer, so we stopped at Circuit City to see if they had any parts he could knock of the list since everything's clearanced-everything-must-go-going-out-of-business (which is depressing in its own right, but if it's going to happen, it's going to happen, and I'm going to catch some deals before it does). There wasn't a whole lot hardware-wise, so we instead ended up bringing home 2 new 22" flat screen monitors (which for me, means I need to clean my desk... I can't hide things behind the giant tube monitor that took over half my desk anymore!), and Guitar Hero III and World Tour for the PS3. And the guidebook for Viva Pinata... which cost me an entire penny. A PRIMA GAME GUIDE FOR ONE CENT LMFAO GIMME GIMME. I still have a deal in my account, but that's for paying off my credit card that's been maxed out and not paid on for the last 3-4 months. x.x Which I should do now.

When federal shows up in a week, then we're really gonna start partying... :x As in... buying a PS3 to actually play Guitar Hero on... >.>;

Medical shit irritates me. At least now less than before.

2009-02-10T15:43:03Z

Well, three days of calling the state later...

I've been switched to a different HMO.

Not sure that the Internal Medicine at that hospital accepts this new one, as they're Aurora Medical, but the woman on the phone (I had to have gotten the ONLY white girl working for the state O.O), who was very nice and clear-spoken and helpful, said that the Wheaton Franciscan group (Aurora and Wheaton pretty much own every medical facility in the greater Milwaukee area) accepts this particular HMO pretty much across the board. Since I don't have a primary doctor yet, I don't really have to worry about my doctor taking this new one, just have to find one who does, but their options are pretty generous. And my reason for picking this particular one was because in just doing a quick search for pediatricians who accept it, the little one's doctor was like the third name on the list. I closed the window out without even looking for any other doctors and called. My whole reason for wanting state aid was so that he would have insurance if nothing else, so that pretty much sealed the deal for me, since we absolutely love his doctor and I'd like him to continue to see him for many, many years to come. Even if I lose eligibility and lose the ability to have insurance through work... I survived for 4 years without insurance, I can do it again... But the baby? He will have it no matter what. /determined scowl.

Now just to get into the WiC office as I've been trying to do for the past 5 months... they're just as bad as any state program when it comes to that shit so... not looking forward to that phone call. /shrug

This new HMO won't kick in until the first, but that's really only two and a half weeks for me to have to suffer, which sucks in and of itself, but considering it will probably take me that long to make another appointment to go in anyway, that's fine. I've been living off my OTC pain killers for the past month and a half, I can make it. I'm a big girl.

...provided the cat doesn't trip me again.